Choosing your wedding party is exciting and exhilarating. Your closest family members and friends will stand by your side and make memories of a lifetime. But it's no secret that weddings can be expensive for everyone. Asking your bridesmaids to invest a lot of time and money in your big day can be challenging. Wedding experts say that the key to politely navigating wedding expenses with your bridesmaids is communication, being receptive and open, and getting creative together.
*Communicate
Start the wedding planning by having honest conversations with your would-be bridesmaids. Then keep that conversation going throughout the whole planning process. "Wedding attendees should always try to be understanding of what the bride or groom is going through, after all they are both under a lot of stress and its likely they've never planned an event of this size before," says Esther Lee, senior editor of the leading U.S. wedding website The Knot. However, expectations can create conflict or disappointment, so it's important for the bride to be honest with her bridesmaids from the start. Share your vision with your bridesmaids, and let them share their travel or budget realities.
*See What's Budget-Friendly
Just as planning a night out with your girlfriends can become a conversation about who can afford what, most bridal parties have members with different financial situations. Here are three tips to having your wedding vision come to life while looking out for your bride tribe:
Be Transparent
Be straightforward with your prospective bridesmaids about how much you want them in your wedding. Don't overlook talking about the time and financial commitments needed. "This is the kindest way to ask for someone's participation," says Katherine Frost, luxury wedding planner and owner of A Frosted Affair in Denver. "Financial misunderstandings ruin friendships, so don't avoid discussing money."
Be Flexible
Based on your initial conversation, you should understand each of your bridesmaid's budgets, so be flexible about how much you want them to spend on attire, accessories, travel and other extras. Amy McCord Jones, owner of Flower Moxie, agrees. She has planned over 800 weddings and says a bridesmaid will spend $500 minimum, including dress, shoes, alterations, jewelry, hair and makeup, hotel, wedding shower, engagement party and bachelorette party. She urges brides to ask themselves how realistic their expectations of bridesmaids are. Will you allow the bridesmaid to pick out her own dress? If not, what amount seems reasonable to budget? Will you require them to buy the shoes and accessories you want, or can they wear their own? Do they need professional hair and makeup, or can they do their own? It all adds up, so think of the bigger picture and what's most important.
Keep It Under $750
Being in the wedding party isn't cheap, but it can be relatively reasonable. "Whenever possible, just keep all expenses for bridesmaids under $750 in total," says Frost. Even that amount may be asking a lot. Etiquette consultant Jodi RR Smith of Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting says that the cost doesn't have to all come from the bridesmaids' wallets. "It is not uncommon for brides to pay for shoes, accessories, hair/make-up, the hotel, etc. as part their gift to their attendants," she says. "The bottom line is that attendants should not go into debt for a friend's wedding."
*Light, Easy and Drama-Free
Etiquette coach Toni Dupree, CEO of Etiquette & Style by Dupree and a bride-to-be herself, encourages couples to do the "heavy lifting" of wedding planning. "The bridesmaids are for keeping the wedding activities light and easy," she says. She suggests that brides work with their bridal party to crowdsource wedding ideas.
"The bride can't think of everything," she adds. "Have the bridesmaids over for a wedding round table of sorts to get ideas for the decorations, the bridal shower, bachelorette party and divvy up hostess duties."
The thing not to do? Add on expenses that attendees aren't expecting. WeddingWire senior editor Kim Forrest notes, "As long as you're upfront, never vague and always gracious about who should be paying what, things should stay chill and relatively drama free."
At the end of your special day, the cake will be gone and the decorations taken down, but your bride tribe will stay! The more open you are through the process, the brighter, happier memories you'll share.
FAQs
Often sent to unmarried guests, invitations that extend a plus-one give single guests the opportunity to bring a date with them to the wedding. It's usually not an open invitation to bring a friend along to take advantage of the free food and drinks.
What do parents pay for their daughter's wedding? ›
How much do parents pay? On average, parents pay between 35-40% of the wedding costs. If you follow tradition, the bride's family is expected to meet the bigger portion of the wedding expenses. But since money is like a gift to your wedding, you should be thankful for what the parents offer.
How much should I give my daughter for her wedding? ›
Key Takeaways: Wedding experts advise starting cash giving at $100. You may want to adjust up to $500 based on factors such as your relationship with the couple, your budget and the cost of your attendance at the wedding. If your budget is really tight, you may want to consider buying a gift from the registry instead.
What is the proper etiquette for a wedding? ›
Be discerning with your toasts and speeches and ensure they don't drag on for too long or take away attention from the couple. If you have more to say, kindly save your words for a card- some weddings even have an “advice box” where guests can share their tips for the couple and their new life ahead.
What is the #1 rule of marriage? ›
The Golden Rule.
Treat your significant other the way you would want to be treated. Be the person you would want to be married to.
What is the 30 5 minute rule for weddings? ›
So what is the 30/5 rule? It's the rule that accounts for things that typically take 5 minutes in real life that will take 30 minutes on a wedding day. It also means that 30 minutes on a wedding day will feel like 5 minutes. You may have heard people say over and over that your wedding day will fly by.
At what age do parents not pay for a wedding? ›
So based on this data, it seems like once couples hit their late 30s or early 40s, parents pay for a smaller portion of the wedding, or don't contribute at all. In short, there is no age limit or exact etiquette for when parents do not pay for their children's wedding costs, says Tonya Hoopes, owner of Hoopes Events.
How much money should the groom's parents give? ›
It used to be that the role of the bridegroom's parents was restricted to hosting the rehearsal dinner and leading him down the aisle, but that is no longer the case. In a recent poll by wedding enthusiasts, the Groom's parents cover up to 24% of the wedding costs.
Is $500 a good wedding gift? ›
You should expect to spend within this wedding gift range for close family members and dear friends, especially if the gift is coming from you and your wedding date. If it's within budget, spending between $250 and $500 much on a wedding gift is customary for relatives of the couple.
Should the mother of the bride give her daughter a gift? ›
While it is traditional (although not obligatory) for the mother and father of the bride to receive a thank you gift from the newlyweds on the big day, a little memento from the bride's parents to their daughter is also becoming more popular.
Catey Hill, resident financial expert at David's Bridal, says it's perfectly fine guests to write out a check to you. She says many brides and grooms actually prefer it. On average the typical cash gift is around $150, she says. Still, though, Hill says there are some exceptions.
What is the number one rule for a wedding? ›
Unbreakable Rule #1: RSVP Promptly
Brides and grooms put a lot of thought into who makes the guest list cut. If you're one of the chosen few to be invited, make sure you respond promptly.
What is the best color to wear for a wedding? ›
Neutral shades are timeless options that won't detract from the wedding's formal atmosphere. For a more colorful look, consider wearing shades of blue, lavender, or pink to show that you're in the celebratory spirit. If the wedding is in a tropical destination, opt for colors like yellow, orange, and green.
What is considered inappropriate for a wedding? ›
Anything Too Casual
We get it, no one wants to quit their coziest clothing like yoga pants, slippers, and jeans, but it's important to remember that these have no place at a wedding. Even if the celebration is casual and relaxed, guests should always err on the side of formal.
What is the number one wedding rule? ›
Unbreakable Rule #1: RSVP Promptly
Brides and grooms put a lot of thought into who makes the guest list cut. If you're one of the chosen few to be invited, make sure you respond promptly.
How to nicely say no plus ones? ›
You should make it very clear on the save the date and your wedding invitations that it is addressed to only the person or people you want to attend. If they still bring up the topic of a plus one, be polite but firm: “I'm so sorry but due to budget limitations/venue capacity, I'm afraid we can't justify plus ones.”
Who traditionally pays for what at a wedding? ›
The topic of money can be touchy, and no one wants to inadvertently offend. Traditionally, the breakdown of expenses was very clear: The bride's family paid for the groom's ring, engagement party, the wedding and reception, a brunch the next day, and a belated reception (if there was one).
What is the white rule in wedding? ›
The last thing you want is for someone to mistake you for the bride or be in photographs where guests think you're trying to steal the spotlight. All in all, it's respectful and customary not to wear white as a guest to the wedding unless the bride specifically asks you to wear white or she says it's okay to wear it.
